March in Review:

Books Read: 12 (so far)

Words Written:  ~9k

I finished something like a draft.  It's only about 40k--not novel length, but it's got a beginning, middle, and end.  It's my first completed story in years.  I finished it on the 17th and pretty much quit writing since then.  Mostly, I've been trying to up my reading count.

Journey of 2,000 Miles: Step 2

(Actually, I think it's closer to 4,000 miles, but for continuity's sake.)

My passport book came in two weeks ago.  I've been searching for flights and figuring how I can get there as cheap as possible and all that good stuff.

I bought my plane tickets yesterday.  I made 2 separate bookings:  The first is from Gulfport to Miami.  The second is from Miami to Inverness.  It's 40 days out.

I've been researching baggage restriction, tours, et cetera.  Do I want to buy luggage or just use what I have?  I bought some hiking boots online, and they came in and they fit!!!

Here's hoping and praying nothing goes awry from here to then.

Journey of 2,000 Miles, Step 1

I APPLIED FOR MY PASSPORT TODAY!

I’M SHOPPING FOR PASSPORT COVERS!

A VACATION ABROAD IS SO CLOSE I CAN TASTE IT.

I’ve tried to act as nonchalant about it as possible.  But, but, but, I DID IT.

Of all the things I’ve screwed up, of all the broken dreams, of all the disappointments, heartaches, et cetera, I am one step closer to fulfilling a dream I’ve had since my first Stephen Lawhead Celtic-based fantasy (whichever one that might have been).

Ever since I saw a picture of Leakey's.

Ever since I learned Hatchard's was a real bookshop.

Since I saw artwork in the Louvre when I was in Excel (back when my future was going to be brighter).

Back when I learned that there’s Hobbiton in New Zealand.

Nothing’s written in stone.  Nothing’s officially planned.

But I’m closer.

I did all my homework for my passport.  I had my photocopies and all that.  I did have to go off-site for my photo, but that was a minor (and I do mean so very minor) inconvenience.  The agent looked over my stuff, had my sign my Internet-pre-filled Form DS11, and I paid and I was ready to go!

This is so exciting!

A journey of 2000 miles, began with a trip to the post office.

The Beginning of the End....of my quarter life crisis

I bought a plane ticket to Chicago.  I have a motel booked.  I reserved a parking spot for off-site parking.

It will not work out in Texas.  The short version is, I miss my family.

The truth?

-I can't afford it with roommates.  *Also, roomies smoke pot and I don't want to go to jail in a drug bust.  Parse that how you will.

-I sure as hell can't afford it on my own.

-I miss my stuff.  My computer, my bed, etc.  I loaded up my car with whatever it could carry, and took off.  The rest of my stuff was supposed to follow me, but hurricanes.

-I miss going to Chick-fil-A on a regular basis.

But first, I am going to Chicago.  Today was my last day at the Ennis Tractor Supply, and I have two days to pack the rest of my stuff before I leave for Chicago.  When I return on Thursday, I may pack up my car and leave, or I may wait.  I'm coming back early enough to leave on Thursday though.  We shall see.

How do I put this...?

I started reading the Harry Potter books.  Yes, yes, I'm still at home.  Yes, yes, Mom doesn't know.  Please don't tell her.

I got them on my Kindle, so there's no actual evidence that I own them.

Anyway, I just finished book 5.  I have enjoyed them.  I like them.  I think they're great.

I hate everyone who has ever demonized them.

I should have been able to read these growing up, dammit!

I could've been one that grew up with the characters.  I should've been there to see the movies when they came out.

On the bright side, I can binge-read them (although I didn't thus far) and I don't have to wait for release dates!  I can also binge-watch all the movies, for the first time, if I ever can manage it.

I had to take a break after book 4.  I just had to.  I was too shaken.  And there are 28 books (I counted them on my Goodreads reading challenge) between 4 and 5.  I thought it was only about 5 or 6 books ago, maybe only a month ago that I read book 4.  No, no, it was back in April.  I whizzed through 5.  I probably won't have the series finished by the end of this month, but I'll probably be done before the end of August.

I'm trying not to think about my upcoming birthday.  Or the fact I've accomplished so little in 24 years.  I'm trying not to think about tying bricks around my ankles and jumping in the bayou.

A change of reading material, you see, was definitely in order.  Something that was positive in the shitstorm that I've made my life.  Yes, I know, it's my fault, my decisions, my stupidity.  Now I have to fix it, because damn sure nobody else will.  Easier said than done.

I haven't read much fantasy this year.  But I see myself falling in love with the genre all over again.  When you're life sucks, you don't like any better what's going on in Mordor, but it sure beats the hell out of staying where you are.

THAT is worth everything.  And if any of you religious types don't like it, you're probably not good company anyway.

It Got Easier

The Internet is exploding with two things:  Joy, and Outrage.

Personally, I don't feel one way or the other about gay marriages being legalized across the US.  

1)  Obviously, I'm not gay.  And if y'all didn't know that...well, now you know.

2) What other people do is none of my damn business.

Well, I am glad it's over now, let's put it this way.  Can we focus on the next problem on the list now?

I've been meaning to write this post for a while, and the day's events kind of paved the way for it.

The beautiful thing about giving up Christianity is that I don't feel the need to judge people.  I don't have to care about their religion, their sexuality, their home life, their job, or whatever.

It doesn't matter.  It doesn't make them less of a person if they're not like me.  It doesn't mean they aren't worthy of love or that they don't deserve to be happy.  They're people.  Living, breathing people with feelings and thoughts and dreams and wishes.

The funny thing about that is, even Christians shouldn't care.  If a gay comes up to you and needs food, would you let him go hungry because he doesn't fit a certain mold?

Honestly, I thought the Church had bigger problems.  Aren't there hungry people in the world?  Hurting people who need healing?  Global warming (if it's real, man)?  I used to be super against environmentalism, but I'm not anymore.  This is the world we live in.  Perhaps we should take care of it, at least a little.

But it's so difficult to love.  And so easy to judge.

Riping about homosexuality should never take the place of loving someone who obviously needs it.  Someone's sin is between them and God.  Not between them and you.  I promise, they're not hurting you, they don't want to hurt you.  Do not hurt them.

And again, it's none of your damn business.  Christianity doesn't allow gays.   Okay, Christians aren't allowed to be gay anymore than Muslims are allowed to drink.  Fine.  But not everyone follows that, and you can't expect someone to live up to expectations that aren't theirs.

If I don't see the End of Days (it's a crapshoot), and it happens after I've grown old and died (if it's really going to happen), I don't want to be remembered as someone who was so religious, who stayed in my ivory tower, and you couldn't come to me.  I want to be remembered as someone who, yes, I'm an asshole, but people never doubted that I loved them.  I actually gave a damn.  I didn't judge, and I didn't ripe about someone's choices.

I don't believe in getting stressed over things I have no control over.

I don't have to like the world I live in.  It sucks.  But I do have to live in it until a better one comes along.

I Lived

In my opinion, a song’s value is based on how relatable it is.  Kinda.  I mean, I like a lot of love songs, but I have nobody to think about.  I listen to a lot of country, about people who do a lot of things I don’t do, but I still listen to it, and say it’s realistic and stuff.

I like Rich Mullins’ music because very often I’ve felt similar things in my stumbling faith.  I like prodigal songs, and I think that’s telling.  I like songs that talk about doubts and yearning and begging for forgiveness.  But that’s a post for another day.

Ed Sheeran is one of those singers that’s hit and miss.  On one hand, he’s really good.  On the other, when he sings about his actual career, the relatability gets lost in it.  Yes, we’ve all felt like that, but we don’t all go on tour.

I got into OneRepublic because I liked the song that played in The Sorceror’s Apprentice.  I got into Ed Sheeran the same way.  I liked the song that played at the end of The Desolation of Smaug and had to look the singer up.

One Republic’s Native album was on sale one day, and some of their other stuff, and I figured, well, I like “Counting Stars” and I like OneRepublic, so why not?

“I Lived” is playing on the radio.  Not on my radio.  I have the album, I don’t need a radio, but it’s a single and it plays on the radio.  No, I haven’t seen any of their videos.

It makes me wanna do things.  There’s a lot of things I’ve never done.  It makes me wish I had a more adventurous spirit and that I took more chances.  I’ve never been in love.  I’ve never visited outside the country.  I’ve never been out of the South, actually.  I’ve never been bungee jumping or gone on a mission trip.  I’ve never broken anything.  When I look at my life thus far, I haven’t done much.  Read a lot of books, wrote a few of my own.  I’ve gone to concerts and road trips.  I’m hoping to graduate with my bachelor’s in May.

I’m young, I think.  I haven’t had much oppurtunity.  I won’t always be so busy.  Or so I hope.  I also hope I don’t put it off so long that my life passes me by and soon it’s too late.

At the end of my life, I wanna say

I, I, I

I did it all

I, I, I

I did it all

I owned every second that this world could give

I saw so many places, the things that I did

Yeah with every broken bone

I swear I lived

November in Review

Books Read: 3

Books on the Currently Reading Shelf on Goodreads: 13 (but I have more that I have bookmarks in that I didn't mark on Goodreads.

Approximate Word Count: ~7,508
 
It was a busy month, k?


Book List:

• The Escape by Mary Balogh, historical romance, 5 stars
• Book 3 of the Survivors' Club.  Very, very, very good.  I expect no less.

• Winning Miss Wakefield by Vivienne Loret, historical romance, 4 stars
• Pretty decent.  Liked the characters.

• Confessions at Midnight by Jacquie D'Alessandro, historical romance, 3 stars
• I didn't like it as much as the first one, but it was okay.

October in Review

Books Read: 10

Books on the Currently Reading Shelf on Goodreads: 13 (but I have more that I have bookmarks in that I didn't mark on Goodreads.

Approximate Word Count: ~11,363
 
Woo-hoo, improvements.  I think I did okay.  I read a little and wrote a little.


Book List:

• Welcome to the Jungle by Jim Butcher, graphic novel, 5 stars
• DRESDEN

• Checkmate by R. L. Mathewson, contemporary erotic romance, 3 stars
• I'm surprised I even finished this book.  That guy made me so mad...  But he pulled through in the end.

• Burning Alive by Shannon K. Butcher, paranormal romance, 3 stars
• This series has been advertised in the back of the Dresden Files, and it was at the Book Bag.  I wasn't wowed by it, but it was good enough to make me want to read the rest of the series, and since I already got them, you know...

Naked Nobility by Sally MacKenzie, historical romance

• The Naked Duke, 3 stars

• The Naked Baron, 4 stars

• The Naked Marquis, 3 stars

• The Naked Earl, 3 stars

• Not great literature, but, I mean, I obviously read a bunch of them.  They're funny and ridiculous.  Good for the quick and fun.

• The Curly Girl Handbook, by Lorraine Massey, nonfiction, 4 stars
• A celebration of curly hair, some curly confessions, really good for the curly girls out there!

• Daring Miss Danvers by Vivienne Loret, historical romance, 3 stars
• A series that was cheap for Kindle and I bought the whole series, wasn't terribly impressed, but it was still pretty decent, gonna read the rest of them 'cause I got them anyway.

• The Fatal Tree by Stephen R. Lawhead, contemporary fantasy/sci-fi, 4 stars
• Favorite author release.  It wasn't as strong as the earlier books in the series, but it was a conclusion that didn't end wrong.  It ended the way it had to, like any other SRL book.  He doesn't waste time wrapping it all up.

August in Review

Books Read:  5  Books on the Currently Reading Shelf on Goodreads:  14 (but I have more that I have bookmarks in that I didn't mark on Goodreads.   Approximate Word Count: ~1500 --if that many
  Bad month.  Really, really, really bad month.  My birthday ended it on a high note.  The good thing about keeping track of this, however, is that I'm seeing where my reading and writing cycles go.  I have a general idea, but now I can track it better.
  Book List:

• Hexed, by Kevin Hearne, urban fantasy, 4 stars
• Good second book, continuing the series.

• Pack Challenge, by Shelly Laurenston, paranormal erotica, 4 stars

• Go Fetch!, by Shelly Laurenston, paranormal erotica, 4 stars

• Here Kitty Kitty!, by Shelly Laurenston, paranormal erotica, 5 stars
•  Together, all three books are the Magnus Pack series.  Laurenston stays true to form, and geez, I'm addicted.
• Here Kitty Kitty!'s hero is my favorite.  Nik doesn't own a TV.  He reads.  And offers to let Angelina borrow his books so she can read too.  Be still, my heart.

• You've Got Male, by Elizabeth Bevarly, contemporary romance, 2 stars
• Eh.  There was no blow-up.  And I guess I just didn't like it that much.

July in Review

Books Read:  7  
Books on the Currently Reading Shelf on Goodreads:  13 (but I have more that I have bookmarks in that I didn't mark on Goodreads.  
Approximate Word Count: ~14,178
 
Writing improved a little, reading not at all.  Hey, I've been doing work and school and all this other crap and I'm bad at time management...
 
Book List:

• Kiss of Fire, by Deborah Cooke, paranormal romance, 4 stars

o   PNR that ISN'T erotica.  And DRAGONS.

• Lord of Scoundrels, by Loretta Chase, historical romance, 4 stars

o  SEE HERE.

• Carrie, by Stephen King, horror, 4 stars

o   I read it in a night.  1) I am scarred for life.  2)  I wish I had telekinesis.  3)  I really like the name Carietta, like a good name for a kid someday. If only the story wasn't a tragedy.
4) By any other author, some of it might be annoying. Well, the narrative, excerpts, interviews, etc WERE annoying. However, you do not question the King. You. Do. Not. Question. The. King.

• Just the Way You Are, by Christina Dodd, contemporary romance, 4 stars

o   Christina Dodd isn't one of my brand names, but I like to read her from time-to-time.

• The Black Prism, by Brent Weeks, fantasy, 5 stars

o   I like Brent Weeks' NIGHT ANGEL trilogy, and finally started on the LIGHTBRINGER trilogy.  Wasn't disappointed.

• Hounded, by Kevin Hearne, urban fantasy, 5 stars

o   Sexy 2100-year-old wiseass Irish Druid who runs a bookshop.  An occult bookshop.  Mayhem and awesome snark ensue.  Review calls the author and main charrie, Atticus O'Sullivan, the respective heirs to Butcher and Dresden.  NO ONE WILL EVER REPLACE BUTCHER AND DRESDEN.  However, if you absolutely adore Dresden, you will like this series, and will tide you over till the next book comes out.

• Jim Henson's Labyrinth:  The Movie Novelization by A. C. H. Smith, movie novel, 3 stars

o   Interesting.  It was a lot more detailed than the movie (obviously).  I read a review once that there was ONE LINE from Jareth that supposed to make him look like a completely different character.  Whatever it was, I missed it.

Re-Reads - The Mane Squeeze, Bite Me, and Wolf With Benefits.  DON'T JUDGE ME, OKAY?

Oh, and I got paid today.  And passed bookstores and bought other stuff, and now I've spent all my spending money and I need serious help with this financial thing.  I'm bad with money.  Really, really bad.  Like, I have no self control in a bookstore, but all my bills are paid/will be paid because I DO set aside bill money, but still, maybe I need to buy a book about finances and read it, and apply it...

Review, Sort of, On The Ragamuffin Movie

Father’s Day weekend, I bought Ragamuffin, a film based on the life of, you guessed it, Rich Mullins.

It’s been sitting on my desk ever since. 

I’ve had writer’s block, been doing some productive reading, and keeping my head afloat school-wise.  I work six days this week.

So, my life kinda sucks right now.

I tried to write today, but I don’t know what story to work on, or what to write for those stories.  I put on the Rich Mullins, just to soothe myself a little, and eventually, just gave up and lay down.  If I can’t be productive, I may as well be comfortable, and bury my face in a warm blanket and call it a day.

I don’t consider myself a Christian much anymore.  I believe in God, and by extension Jesus—you can’t grow up in a Judeo-Christian worldview home and completely abandon everything you’ve been taught.  Or, 

I can’t anyway.  I’m INFP (that’s my excuse, and I’m sticking to it! O.o)

I got The Itch.  The last time I got The Itch, I read Carrie.  Loved it, by the way.  Well, I don’t know if I loved it, but I will certainly never forget it and may re-read it someday.  I appreciate it, I guess you could say.  But I digress.

It’s been Itching.  Like sometimes a book will say, “Jadi, Jadi, read me, read me,” for a few days or so until I’m Ready For It, and this movie has just been kind of whispering, “Soon.  Soon.”

Today, I decided, “Today’s the day.”

I’m well aware of how crazy this sounds.

So I popped it in my computer (I got rid of my TV and DVD player), and sat down to watch it.

It wasn’t really what I expected.  They left out snippets of “The Jesus Record.”  Just a little snippet of him at the piano playing one of those songs, and not “Be With You”—which is a great song, but still—would have been cool.  And something about Canticles of the Plains and there was a lot of stuff I wanted to see but they didn’t put in the film.

Beside the point. 

I watched it because while I was listening to the music, I was reminded of how soothing Rich Mullins’s voice is.  How soothing the music is.  Some people don’t like it, well, a lot of people don’t like it, but I always did.  I don’t know why.

Lacey told me one time it was because of his dramatic death, and I’m a writer, so I like dramatic stuff.  Her words, not mine.

Um, I was six when I got into Rich  Mullins, and I don’t know if I had a flair for the dramatic yet.  I remember liking the idea of someone giving their life to God, and let’s face it, the fact the guy was dead did have some sort of impact on my six-year-old self.  Pity of a child perhaps for a dead person?  Maybe.   I do remember feeling sorry for someone that gave their life to God, and then dying the way he did.

The other thing I remember is that Ray Boltz was Mom’s favorite.  Carmen was my sister’s favorite.  Rich Mullins needed to be someone’s favorite.  Might as well have been mine.

As I got a little older, I found some of his other albums. My mother and sister still prefer Songs, but I think my favorite album is probably The World as Best as I Remember It, Volume 2.    My favorite song is “Elijah,” which is on the first album, Songs, and on any greatest hits album; and a close second being, “Growing Young,” which is on The World as Best as I Remember It, Volume 2. 

It’s an interesting film.  Not bad for something that was probably low budget.  Makes me want to revisit The Ragamuffin Gospel and read all those Brennan Manning books I have in my Scribd library.  Nobody ever got through to me like Brennan Manning, or could make me cry/tear up.  I doubt I would even bother contemplating the notion of Jesus if not for Manning.  I loved the bits with him in it, and I was heartbroken when I heard he’d died.  But moving on...

I didn’t want to watch it at first.  I was a Rich Mullins fan and why were they just now waiting to make this movie and what if it isn’t any good, what if it ruins my image of him...?

Anyway, I told myself again and again I wouldn’t bother with it.  But then I started looking in WalMart and saw it, and bought it on impulse.  It was there, and why not?

I want someone I know to watch it, so I can talk about it with them.

Um, What?: Reading Edition

I would like to say this post is ‘cause I’m a snooty college student majoring in psychology, but in reality, this is about reading.  First, last, and always, I am a bibliophile.

This started a few books ago, during one of the splendid Codex Alera books that I paused, took a moment, and actually looked at the words.  I was trying to see how the sentences were crafted and get a sense of style.  I mean, I love Jim Butcher’s books.  They’re easy to read, fast-paced, and basically chocolate for the glutton.  If there’s anyone’s style I’d like to study, it’d be his or Lloyd Alexander’s.

After about two paragraphs, I kinda shook my head.  It was just words. Words forming sentences, that formed paragraphs, that told one of the best stories I’d ever read.  But it was just words.

I dismissed that notion.  No reader worth their library believes books are just words.

When I’m reading, really reading, into-the-story, not-putting-it-down, I see the words on the page, can even sometimes remember where it was at on the page if I want to find it again.  There’s not a lot visual going on for me.  I get impressions of images and voices and people; in other words, not the mini-mind-movie other people talk about.  And, um, I read romance and romantic smut.  During a love scene, I don’t want a visual so much as I want to figure out how in the blazes is that position even possible?  And, how big is this bed?  But I digress.

I’ve done some semi-research on what books do for your brain.  Everyone agrees:  reading is good for you.  But what exactly is going on?

Well, here I am at the Carey library, bored out of my mind between classes; hungry because I have no cash on me so I can’t eat (I’m broke till Thursday anyway); stressed because I don’t get the statistics homework; stressed even more because I don’t have my textbooks yet and can’t do the assigned reading; disappointed because I thought I was just going take some time to re-read The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss, which is a splendid book, but a heavy one and I’m having as much trouble with it the second time around as I did the first time around; dejected because I just finished the latest Pride series book, the list goes on…;  and with nothing better to do, or able to do, I’m Googling what’s going on in the brain whilst reading.

And here’s what I found:

Okay, so it’s common knowledge the words evoke images.  What I found interesting was that the brain doesn’t bother with much distinction between your real life experiences, and the experiences you read through in fiction.

So, there’s no distinction between reading Frodo going to Mordor, and actually going into Mordor yourself?  If you read it, your brain thinks you did it?

And the readers go, Huh?  Me too, readers.  Me too.

But seriously, both articles say it.  (I looked at a couple, but these were the two I really liked.)

Although, considering the commitment required to read Lord of the Rings, yeah, it feels like you went to Mordor.  Heck, it feels like that just watching the movies.  You’re slightly exhausted at the end, and not quite yourself anymore.  Or at least that’s how I felt when I finished watching all three movies in a short span of time to expose the little brother to them after watching the first two Hobbit movies.

So, when there’s the reader memes saying you’ve lived a thousand lives?  Well, there’s scientific evidence to back that up.

“The brain, it seems, does not make much of a distinction between reading about an experience and encountering it in real life; in each case, the same neurological regions are stimulated.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/18/opinion/sunday/the-neuroscience-of-your-brain-on-fiction.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Have your ever felt so connected to a story that it’s as if you experienced it in real life? There’s a good reason why: your brain actually believes that you have experienced it.

http://oedb.org/ilibrarian/your-brain-on-books-10-things-that-happen-to-our-minds-when-we-read/

They don’t quite say the same thing, but the point remains.

Interesting.  In that case, can I put that I saved Prydain with Taran, Chicago (and the rest of the world) with Harry Dresden, and Daneland with Beowulf on my resume?  What?  My brain thinks it did those things.

I just wanted to see what the deal was with reading something that was just words, that’s not just words.  And somehow, I wandered off the reservation, and now I'm questioning every experience I thought I had and all the ones I read.  They’re some interesting articles though.  Verra verra interestin’.