I still try to push my glasses up my nose, even though I don't wear them anymore.
I can't blow my tea and watch them fog up anymore.
I still want to take them off at night, and reach for them when I wake up.
I don't recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror anymore.
I want to scratch under my eyes and still expect to meet plastic frames.
Yes, I wanted surgery. No, I do not regret it. I can see. I can see in the freaking shower now.
But you have to understand something: my glasses were as part of my identity as anything else. I feel really weird now, though, because I love people with glasses, think guys with glasses are cute....
But I'm not wearing them anymore. It's weird, and I feel kind of hypocritical. If I liked them so much, why did I get rid of them?
They were a handicap. Well, the glasses weren't my handicap. My crappy vision was my handicap. The glasses were just the crutch.
I had my first week post-op today. Each eye on its own is about 20/25. Together, they are about 20/20. I'm certain there's some sensible explanation for that, but I can't tell you what it would be. Stronger together than apart, I guess. My eyes are still a little blurry when I wake up, and when I'm tired. That, I think, is why I still reach for glasses or want to take them off.
It's weird. I can see without glasses. I don't need glasses. I am free of the frames.
When I got my last set, the lady said they had someone get LASIK but she felt naked without them, so she had them make her a pair of falsies.
Honestly, my big thing, although this hasn't happened yet, is sunglasses. I love big sunglasses. I've never been able to wear them. I want those big, diva-ish sunglasses that cover half my face. And now I can finally get them. I can go to the beach and not have to worry about my glasses or being able to swim.
That's my thing this summer. I want to swim! I can go to an amusement park and get on the roller coasters without worrying about my glasses falling off!
I'm thinking maybe I can start wearing make-up now. At the same time, I'm like, why start now? I mean, it would be kind of embarrassing to have crappy make-up at 22. I mean, by this point, I'm supposed to have mastered this... Or I could just keep my skin clear and grow my eyelashes the natural way.
I've always been a highly adaptable person. Darwin's finest, I think. I'm not particularly swift or strong, but I can adapt like nobody's business. I think after a while, I'll be fine with this. It's just this little transitionary period that I have to survive.
I am free of the glass windows that I've had to view the world in.