Saturday, February 14, 2015

The Valentine's Day Post: Cynical Rants and Romantic Dreams

I'm single on Valentine's Day.

I know, it's such a big shocker.

As someone who's been single, been ignored by the male of the species for most of my life, and really waved off by a lot of people, called weird, whatever, I'm kinda just like:

"Screw you!"

I haven't spent so much time alone to just want to spend time with just anyone.  Forget wanting a boyfriend, I don't even think I want any more friends if they're not readers or writers or someone I can talk about BBC shows with.

But, since this is Valentine's Day:

If I ask if he likes Stephen Lawhead, and he doesn't respond by quoting Taliesin, The Skin Map, or some other romantic passage from one of his books, I don't want to date him.

If he won't geek out over the Dresden Files (or any Jim Butcher book for that matter) with me, I don't want to date him.

If he won't cuddle on the couch and watch something with me--be it Doctor Who, Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit movies, or reruns of some show on Netflix--I don't want to date him.

If he doesn't show up at my door wearing a kilt just to make my day (because I am shamelessly obsessed with guys in kilts), I don't want to date him.

If he's going to call me weird, tell me I need help, call me crazy, or anything that I've had to hear before, I don't want to date him.  

(Note:  Those would be grounds for breaking up.  Those are grounds for freaking murder.  Call me crazy, you gon see crazy!)

I'm tired of hearing those things.  I hate being called weird.  I hate being told I'm not playing with a full deck.  I hate being called crazy.  I know people don't mean it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.  Quit talking to me like there's something wrong with me.

So, yeah, I can be lonely single, or I can be lonely with the wrong person.  If I'm lonely by myself, at least I can do whatever I want.

Yeah, yeah, I want a boyfriend and husband and all that.  But I also want to get out of Mississippi one day as well.  I mean, I really really really want out.  And so there's nothing holding me back, the less entanglements, the better.

That's another thing.  Given the amount of teen pregnancy in MS, I'm glad I never dated in high school.  I don't have to be a young single mother.  I'm just a young single.  I'm graduating in May with a bachelor's.  I'm getting an education.  I can get out of this little podunk town.

I mean, Stone County wasn't a bad place to grow up, but now that I am a 20-something,  and there is no liquor store because it's a dry county, no Sally's (and I have curly hair, so this is really inconvenient), no bookstore (and I'm convinced the whole freaking town is illiterate), barely any jobs (I know I have one, but I want a better one after graduation), I REALLY DON'T WANT TO STAY HERE!

And I don't have to.  I shouldn't have to.

And of course, this is my theme song.  Don't judge me.

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