Monday, October 8, 2012

Expectations of a Terminal Spinster

Straight up, I made this on Print Artist so
I can pin this post and put it on Pinterest

I used to think romance books didn't give me unrealistic expectations about love and romance.  Country love songs did.  Some of you will get that.

What Romance books taught me to expect:

1.  Love in strange places

2.  Guys fall in love with pretty girls on sight.

3.  Plainer girls have to be given a chance (or pitied?).

4.  With the exception of marriages of convenience romances, you marry someone because you want to be with him, not because you necessarily need him.

5.  It's only right to want to be happy.

I've mentioned in passing before that my sister's come home pregnant twice (I love my sister and my godkids, I promise).  Since then, she's almost always been in a relationship, or was trying to get into one.

It also always seemed like she would want to get more educated or get a job, but then a man would come along and say, "I'll take care of you."

For my mother and my sister, this is music to their ears.

As someone who values my intelligence, and craves a little independence more than anything, I just think that, this is the twenty-first century.  No woman should need a man to take care of her.  Maybe a century or two ago, but not in 2012.

I am not a feminist.  At least, not to any real extent.  But I like the rights I've been given in 2012 America.  My family and I are resigned to the fact that I'll never marry (not saying I don't want to, just saying I probably won't), but if I did, it wouldn't because I needed a man in my life (as tempting as the idea of being taken care of is), but because I actually wanted to be with said man.

Was I wrong to expect that?  It seems my family around me doesn't see things that way.

If you need someone, and he knows you need him, how would he ever know you loved him for him and not just what he could do for you?  Again, this was fine a century or two ago.  But why not take advantage of what we can do now that it's socially acceptable?  Even expected?

I was born in the twenty-first century. I can vote.  I can work.  I can own my own property.  I can make my own social status.

I hope the only two men I should ever need in my life are my Daddy and Jesus.

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