Friday, July 22, 2011

Yeah, Right...

I was looking for scholarship jokes.  Thought it would be a great beginner.  Couldn't find one, so I posted a bunch of college humor.

So, back to the scholarships.  My college (I think) is just about paid for this year via merit scholarships that comes from the college, except the small grants.  YAY!!!!  So, unless I screw up, I'm good to go.

Still, I'm looking at scholarships for next year, when I'll be transferring.

The education system is really really screwed up.

1. (a) Unwed mother to get a scholarship/grant:  all or most expenses paid.
(b) Other students for a scholarship not offered by colleges:  essay or a complicated project, 3.5 GPA, community service, leadership programs, clubs, sports, fighting tooth and nail at Financial Aid...

2.  The Financial Aid office is run by student workers who haven't the slightest idea of what they're doing.

3.  Native American?  You have to be a member of a Federally Recognized Tribe.  The fact you're more Indian than white doesn't matter.

4. (a) Goverment-Mandated Schooling both public and private (remember, I've been to both): teaches the test.  So what if we're not as smart as China?  At least we're not Communist!  I could go on and on about this.
(b) College:  doesn't teach the test.  You actually have to learn.  That was a whole new experience, although an enjoyable one.

5  (a) Teachers aren't paid enough to deal with students.  They should get paid for teaching AND for keeping the worst people on the planet, minors, myself included {emancipation age in MS is 21}, busy all day.
(b)Teachers don't need to complain about how terrible we are.  If they don't like us, they don't need to teach us.  The money's not worth it.

Messed-up education system with parents not fighting with the system for better stuff.  Messed up adults being turned out because of the education system and messed-up parents who don't care.  See the progression?

Some people wonder why America's fallen so far.   I just figured out why.  On while we're on the topic of college and logic:  If it offends, I'm sorry.

Thibodeaux gets in his pirogue and goes down to the college and meets the dean of admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. 

Logic?" Thibodeaux says. "Wha's dat?" 

The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weed eater?" 

"Why shur," replies Thibodeaux. 

"Then logically, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." 

"Das true, I do have some land on da bayou." 

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." 

"Meh, yeah, I do have a house." 

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." 

"Meh, yes I have a family, too." 

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife." 

"Yes, I do have a wife." 

"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual." 

"A hetero what?" Thibodeaux asks. 

The dean explains the term to Thibodeaux and he says "Why, yes, I am a heterosexual. Das amazing, you were able to find out all dat because I have a weed eater." 

Excited to take the class now, Thibodeaux shakes the dean's hand and leaves to go meet Boudreaux at the bar. 

He tells Boudreaux about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. 

"Logic?" Boudreaux says, "Wha's dat?" 

Thibodeaux says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weed eater?" 

"Meh, no." 

"Then you a queer."

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