The Conversation I Wanted To Avoid

The current plan is for me to spend another semester at Perk and get that last credit--which isn't even a full class.  Probably no W.  Probably not transfering to a local university.  At least, not this semester.

So, while Lacey (who's gonna get her Associate's too) and I were sitting the counselor's office, the counselor asked what I was majoring in.

I told her I was getting my Associate's and then getting out.  Then when she got The Look on her face, I went on, "I know that's not what you like to hear."

"Why would you do that?" she asked, more like demanded.

I told her I wanted to be a writer, but I would never major in it, and I was going to get out and get a real job and then just write on the side, like I've been doing with school and writing since I was thirteen.

She said that I should major in Creative Writing because it would make me more marketable to publishers.  That I could perhaps teach it and then have more time to write.  There was more to the lecture, and I mean it was a lecture, but really while there are "a billion reasons" why I should, as she said, there's one little thing that can keep me from doing it.

Money.  And student loans are the devil, apparently.

Let's see.  Finish Associate's, look for a job now, the sooner I get one the better, live a relatively happy life.

OR

Get more education, put myself or my parents into debt, get out unemployed or be miserable in a field I hate.  I can do that without a degree.

I don't know what my ideal day job would be.  I don't want to be rich (well, yes I do, but I'm not ambitious), I just need to make enough to support myself and my book habit and the cats I intend to take in when I'm a crazy cat lady.

Note

At first I felt like a hypocrite, because I wrote a vampire story, even though I don't care for vampire books.  I like living, breathing human men.


But, for those of you who didn't read "My Fair Donor," Julius doesn't get his girl until he becomes human again.  Calling it a vamp romance is a bit of a misnomer.


It's an ex-vamp romance!


I stayed true to myself.


No, I am not a hypocrite.  I wrote the vampire story I would like to read.

A Week at Grandma's

I spent the past week with my grandma, my mom's mom.  Saturday to Saturday.  I had no access to a computer (except for one day, and I didn't use it much), and a little access to the Internet from my Blackberry.  Still, getting on from my BB isn't nearly as good as getting on from a computer.

I wrote over 10k words, which considering how I was doing before I went, that's pretty good for me.  I re-read two books.  Read a little bit in one of the books I'd brought.  I brought my Kindle along too, but it broke.  That's what I get for putting it in my duffel bag with real books.  That's 310 points for print books.

So, in addition to spending some time with Maw Ann and helping her around the house, I got some words packed away, both putting them out and taking them in.

There was nothing else really to do at Maw's.  Before you scold, she did work for several hours each day and I could only do so much housework while she was gone.  She didn't have cable.  She didn't have a computer to play on.  I had my Blackberry, two of my baby name books, my notebook, my diary, and my prayer journal.  Oh, and my Bible. 

What else was I supposed to do?

Well, to be honest, I watched a lot of Madea/Tyler Perry plays.  You know, the ones that are on DVD.  Maw has a lot of them.  Well, maybe not so much as watch as pop in and listen to.  Madea gives great advice.  Also, I got into Andy Griffith.  Maw had The Best of Barney Fife, and then two other Best Of DVDs.  I am now a fan.

But mostly, I wrote.  I emailed myself my current WIP so I can refer to it, only to find out I can edit it in Word To Go.  Edit, including writing more right there on my BB.  So, I did.  It was not quite 3k words when I emailed it (I checked the original docs) and was 9, almost 10k, when I emailed it the last time to myself to replaced the original doc with what I worked on on my BB.  There was another nearly 5k in my notebook that I handwrote for some other writing projects.

Amazing how much you can get done when there's nothing like a computer or cable to distract you.  And you're worried about going over on your data plan...

Now that I'm home, I'm back to writing on my computer.  I'm back to doing a billion other things than writing.  Instead of just worrying about keeping Maw's house clean and checking her turtle traps.

It was a good week while it lasted.

Answers are always found in books.

For those of you who don't already know, I'm in between majors.  There's a lot of things I'm interested in, but most of it is stuff I can skip the class in and just buy books on the subject, because I don't necessarily want to work in those fields.

It was never a matter of what I could or couldn't do.  I'm a good student and as long as a lot of math isn't involved, I would do okay.

So, after a lot of heart-searching and prayer, I did was any rational girl would do.  I wrote down seven options.

If you can't read them, they say, "History," "Business," "Culinary Arts," Paralegal Studies," "Psychology," "Associate's" (as in, get my Associate's and then stop there), and "English."

Then I folded them up and put them in my fake book knickknack.

(The top book lifts up and I can put stuff inside.)

I shook it up.   Shook it some more.  Shook it some more.  Lifted it up, stuck my hand in, felt around for a slip of paper, pulled it out.

1st draw – Paralegal studies

2nd draw – History

3rd draw – Paralegal studies

4th draw – Psychology

5th draw – Business

6th draw – Paralegal studies

7th draw – Paralegal studies

Okay.  Fine.

On Being Single

I've never made my lack of a dating history a secret.  Well, maybe at first, but because it's my life, I had to talk about it eventually.

Other than the huge blow to my self-esteem that no guy's ever taken an interest in me, I'm really okay with being single.  Two of my favorite people, Rich Mullins and Hans Christian Andersen, never married.  Mullins gave up dating.  Andersen fell in love multiple times, but nobody ever returned that love.

What I don't like is that's there's this implication that being single is just a phase and not a lifestyle--unless you're a nun/monk.

25 About virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I do give an opinion as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Therefore I consider this to be good because of the present distress: It is fine for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. -1 Corinthians 7:25-27

I want a relationship because I want to write romance books and I'm pretty sure I should go in with at least a little romantic experience of my own, and not just what I've read about in books.  I don't want happily ever after, I just want to know what's it like.  I'm no relationship expert, but I'm pretty sure that's the wrong reason.

So, I'm mostly okay with being single.  Mainly because the more I think about what I'd want in a man, the more I'm convinced I should be alone. ;)

The Other Divine Comedy

The World's Story:

Exposition:
God created everything.
Satan fell.
Man fell.

The Story:  Jesus came, died, came back to life, promised to come back again.
World slowly gets worse.
And worse.
And worse.
Revelation (End times, whatever you want to call it)

Epilogue:  We all go to heaven, Amen.

As an ex-English major, maybe an English major (?), I deem this play a comedy.

I always knew God had a sense of humor.  I just never thought it extended this far.

In February of 2010, I wrote the following passage in "The Best Story Ever Told," which was one of my VP's:

"The other day, we were reading Paradise Lost in English class, and I was thinking, Why did God put the tree in the Garden in the first place?  If He hadn't, none of this would have ever happened. 

Since I'm a writer, I came to the following conclusion:  Because is He hadn't, there would be no story!" 

(I wrote a poem that goes with this VP, it's on my Goodreads titled "The Director.")

Now in 2012, I'm hit with this again, except now I know what genre the play's in.  It's a comedy.  It's a series of events that are absurd and ridiculous, and things are gradually getting worse toward the turning point.  But the ending, what makes a comedy a comedy, is going to be a good one.

OMG.

Those of you who don't read my other blog,

SMASHWORDS APPROVED ME FOR PREMIUM!!!

This has no business being so hard.

I still haven't made a decision.

I typed "best jobs for bookworms" in Google.  Found some interesting stuff, but nothing I necessarily want to do, except a librarian, but that's not exactly a safe field to go into.  People don't read here.  At least, not where I'm at.

There's a lot of stuff I'm interested in.  History, Enlightenment-era Literature, Psychology, Religion, Cooking, Art, Music, Philosopy...

...all things that I can just buy books about and skip the courses.  I need something that'll get a job.  That pays well.  That will support my writing and book habit.

Maybe I should just go back to being an English major and be a teacher.  *shudder*  I could teach kids that reading's good for them.  And require they read Candide.  *it's good to dream about making a difference, but I wonder if I can actually do that with the stupidity in the educational system*

I guess it's because I have choices.  My mom told me I could be anything I wanted, that pays the bills.  I believe her, to an extent.  I have the head for a lot of things, but not the heart for them.

Help.

Back Back Back

I deleted my Writing.com account several weeks ago.

I made another account today.

Why did I do this?  Because I needed something to do.  I miss the newsletters.  I probably won't get a paid-for account again, but I'm hoping to do some reviewing.

This is what happens when I'm bored.

My New Favorite Bible Verse

I have a prayer journal.  It has a verse (sometimes 2) at the top of each page.  It was given to me for Christmas in 2006.  My first entry was February 20, 2009.  I write in it sporadically.  Don't judge me.

Anyway, while I was writing in it today, the verse on the next page was:

"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and work with your hands." -1 Thessalonians 4:11 (NIV)

Finally, something I can actually do.

Fruits of the Spirit?  I suck at those.  Keep to all things good and pure?  I suck at that too.

THIS?

Quiet life?  I live on a farm.

Mind my own business?  I'm an introvert.

Work with my hands?  Well, I like working with my hands.  So, I can do that too.

I Give Up.

I tried.  I really, really tried.

I don't care whose name is on the cover!  There'll be no getting through that book.  This is my second attempt at reading it (and I've never taken a second attempt at any book, I don't go beyond first impressions with books).

It's really sad, because I have all of the books in this series and I can't get past the first one.  The premise is really interesting.

I just can't.  I'm not connecting with this book at all, and I hate that.  I hate even worse that I'm reading two more books by this author (okay, I have bookmarked), and I'm actually interested in both of them (Insomnia and 11/22/63).

I hate when I do this.  But it must be done.

Edit:  For those of you wondering what I'm talking about, it's The Gunslinger.  Screw New Year's Resolutions.

Be Careful What You Wish For

I got my first rating/review on Smashwords.  3 stars.

Darnit.  Darnit.  Darnit.

This was my biggest fear with self/e-publishing.

It's not a bad review.  It's not a bad rating.  But I wanted at least 4 stars.

The star rating system on Goodreads (according to them is):

1 star - didn't like it
2 stars - it was ok
3 stars - liked it
4 stars - really liked it
5 stars - it was amazing

For the record, never, ever take my ratings on books if you're my friend on Goodreads.

My rating system:

For half of my 5-stars:  No, it's not great literature, but I enjoyed it anyway.  It was fun, that sort of thing.  Good way to kill some hours.

For the other half:  This book was freaking amazing.

(The fact I don't review most of these doesn't help things)

4-stars:  Well written, not perfect but still pretty good.  I'd recommend almost all of my 4-star rating books before I'd recommend 1/3 of my 5-star books.  (What am I talking about recommending?  None of my friends read, and even then, we don't even read the same stuff.)

3:  Ugh, well, it was okay, not for me, but still good.

2:  Uhm...it had a plot.

1:  I hated it.

Assuming this person doesn't have my review opinion, I did okay.

We're going to the store today.  Maybe I should get a pint of Dutch chocolate ice cream.

Reading

I know a lot of readers cut back on their reading once they go to college, but so far, I haven't, and that's taking 20 hours last semester.  But, I also didn't work either, so that freed up a lot of my time too.  I barely study.  I was one of those students that got it (or most of it) the first time around and would then look over it again right before the test.  And pass.

If I had studied in school I probably would've been a straight-A student.  In college, I would probably be a 4.0.  Still, no going back.  And quite frankly, I'm happy being a 3.5 student.  I'm considered smart and I get my writing and reading done.

A girl's got to have her priorities straight.

Asking for Advice

I've been a Culinary major for a full semester/summer and already I'm rethinking it.  Good thing I never actually started culinary school.

I want to be a writer.  That's it.  I still want to have my own restaurant someday, but honestly, I should only chase one dream at a time and THAT would seriously cut into my writing time.

One can't serve two masters.  It's in the Bible, so it's true.

I pick writing.  I want a normal 9-5 where I have plenty of time to write.  Sadly, writing doesn't pay very well.  Heck, with the exception of the 99¢ thing on Amazon, which I had no control over, I would write for free.  I've been doing that since 05 anyway.  It was never about the money.  I'm not saying I don't dream about becoming a Bestselling Author, because I do, but it's not about that, and it never has been.

Money doesn't buy happiness.  It buys comfort.

Looking through other things the W offers, and I've been considering business or accounting or finance-type stuff that all the advice for college kids websites say are good fields to go into.

Marketing.  Good idea for a self-publisher.  Plus, I would be able to get a "real" job, maybe.

I read somewhere that I should build a lifestyle that supports my writing.  That would.  I think.

It would certainly make me appreciate writing more.

Happy Memorial Day

Advice to myself, and incidentally, other people

1)  Life's easier when you know who you are.  When you have a passion in life.  
Passion = happiness.  At least, it has for me.


2)  Our economy sucks.  The job market sucks.  No matter what field you go into, you're going to have to fight for a job, most likely.  You may as well take the gamble and follow your heart/nose/dreams/here's a good one, God's will. (Rich Mullins has a great song about this.)


3) Know your talents.  Cultivate them.


4) As for as the stuff you're not talented in, if you like doing it, do it.  You'll get good.  If not, hide your attempts.  ;)  As for the stuff you're not talented in, and you hate doing it, don't.  Not if you don't have to.  It's not worth stressing yourself over.


5) Dance.  Even when you feel like an idiot, dance.  Get moving.  Exercise gives you endorphins.  Endorphins make you happy.


6) These things make life easier:  Laughter, chocolate, best friends, books, Rich Mullins, Brennan Manning, and fairy tales.


7) Don't worry.  God's juggling the Universe.  He won't drop you.

Now all I got to do is follow my own advice.

Sitting on My Hands

I uploaded "My Fair Donor" to Smashwords 5 days ago. (See sidebar)

I still haven't gotten any reviews, BUT there's been over 100 downloads.  I know from experience that I don't read stuff nearly as fast as I get them.  I shouldn't expect that from other people.

I followed these 2 (3? 4?) pages on Facebook that advertise free Kindle books.  I've downloaded a lot that way.  I've read...like, none of them.

Part of this is because I want to read a lot of print books while I'm home.  The more books I have on my Kindle (and Kindle app for my BB), the less print books I'll worry about bringing to the dorm.

I'm stock-piling, basically.

So, I'm not sweating it.  People will get to it when they get to it.  Between my Kindle books and my print books...well, let's not go over how many books I have that I haven't read.

So, I'm not going to stress (much) about having my little short story out there and no reviews.  I have a few downloads.  Reviews'll happen, and when it does, after I'm done jumping around the room (if it's good) or eaten a pint of ice cream (if it's bad, but ice cream's a good idea whether the review's good or bad), you'll be the first to know.

Itsy bitsy--nothing itsy bitsy about THAT spider

For the record, I don't have arachnophobia.  But I hate, absolutely hate large creepy crawlies that sneak up on me.  If I see it first, and at a distance, I'm okay.

If I'm walking in my room and one just pops out that's like this big:

and like two inches from my foot, we're going to have a problem.  I don't remember flying across the room, but I did.

If it hadn't been 11:30 at night, I would have gone get my older brother (one of two; he's who's staying with us right now) or my dad (who's home this week).  Something about a huge spider turns me into a weakling.

I killed it.

I love the crunch when you kill a huge bug.

And I flushed it.  I got the idea from Brad Stine.  I've been watching a large amount of his videos.

My Fair Donor

...was released on Smashwords last night.

If you're interested, click here.

Doorstoppers

I know I said I'd wait until I was done with all my Stephanie Plums before I started on my doorstoppers, but I decided against it.

I'm starting on the doorstoppers now.  I just finished Hot Six, and with no forseeable end to the Stephanie Plum books in sight, and no foreseeable choice between Morelli and Ranger (I've read some reviews for Explosive Eighteen), I've decided to cut back for now.

The Doorstopper list?

Books 1-4 of A Song of Ice and Fire, not all of them are really doorstoppers, but there's so many.
Inheritance by Christopher Paolini
Insomnia by Stephen King

I got a bunch of other hardbacks that are quite long, but these are my heavy hitters that I want to hurry up and get through.  I have some pretty long MMPBs to get through too, but I can always pack those.

Also, I counted my Unread books today.  First count was 190, the second was 182.  I'm gonna go with 182, because I think I know why there was an 8 book difference.

First up, I pulled Insomnia.  787 pages.