Saturday, April 16, 2011

I Don't Think I Should've Let Them Meet: An N-terview

Disclaimer:  I mixed two different teas tonight:  Sleepy Time Extra and Tension Tamer.  I need a little of both.  So, yeah, I'm a little tired.  But in the imaginary sitting room, the sun is shining and stuff.  But if I ever called characters in for an interview, this is probably what it would go like:

I invited my imaginary protagonists to my imaginary future living room.  Nathan Drans and Naren Aerys.  I called them in for an interview.  To better understand my characters.Naren and Nathan are both looking at the bookhelves, looking for something of interest to read.

Me:  Gentlemen!  We have an interview to do here.  You can look at all that later.

Naren and Nathan both obediently come sit down on the sofa.  They are very different people.  I think the only thing theys have in common are that they're my characters and that they're smart.

Me:  So, what are your problems, respectively?

Nathan:  I wasn't aware this was therapy.

Naren:  I was black-mailed.  I survived something I wasn't supposed to.  I haven't seen my girlfriend in over a year...  [pointed look]  Do I really need to continue?

Naren's a good few years older than Nathan--sort of.  Nathan's character is older, but Naren has existed in my mind longer--if that makes sense.  The point is, Naren knows what to expect.

Nathan:  [to Naren]  All that?

Naren:  [nods]

Nathan:  [to me]  It's going to get worse for me, isn't it?

I say nothing, of course.  If he knew it was coming, where would be the fun in that?

Naren half-smiles.  He knows.  As I've said before.

I smile at Naren:  Why don't you tell him all you've been through?

Naren:  In the first...3 drafts, right?--the story was about Kamra--my girlfriend, er, fiancee.  When Ms. Author realized I was more interesting, she made me the main character.  But she kept most of my backstory.  I lost my parents.  I had a stutter.  I had an older bastard brother that none of us knew about--

Nathan:  How is that bad?  The last part?

Naren: [shakes head]  It's not.  Don't interrupt.  Ms. Author never lets me talk that much.

Me:  That's because you have a succint personality.

Naren:  I'll pretend that didn't offend me.

Nathan:  Naren?  What were you saying now?

Naren:  When I was five, I was bitten by a troll and had been subjected to a heavy amount of troll venom until I was sixteen.  That first bite made my second-sight manifest prematurely.  My mentor--a trapped angel--married my older brother.  They had a child.  I thought I was going to have a happy bachelorhood, but I wound up with a washed-up--literally, their boat capsized and by some hand of fate, they made it to shore--older couple.  The husband dies.  I adore Widow Parveen, but that kind of cuts into happy bachelorhood.  And then, two years later the aforementioned child is forced upon me to raise--although I do love my niece, otherwise I couldn't have been blackmailed.

Nathan:  That is a lot.

Naren:  A lot of inconveniences, perhaps not real problems.  I wish I had died when I caught the Pestilence has swept through.

Me:  Shut up, Naren.  If you had died then, there would be no book.

Naren:  [to Nathan]  I've been through a few drafts.  Things change.  Not all of that was in draft 1.  Draft 1, I was actually normal.  By draft 2 million, I've been turned into a Lord Death impersonating, reserved, estranged Prince.  Oh, and whoever heard of a prince having an occupation other than preparing to take the throne?  I make weapons for a living.  Although, Ms. Author arranged for me to have more money than what I would usually have.

Nathan:  At least she made you well off.  I'm broke.

Naren:  My apologies, sir.

Nathan:  [to me]  How many drafts will I get?

Naren:  However many it takes until she's happy with it.

Nathan:  Well, I'm only what, 20-something pages into my story?

Naren:  [to me, actually smiling--he never smiles]  About time for you to start over, Ms. Author?

Nathan:  But it just started!

Naren:  It doesn't matter.

I remember my intended goal. 

Me:  Gentlemen!  I have more questions!  Please.  And I'll have you know, Naren Blaise Aerys, that I have planned out Nathan's story very well.  I actually know what I'm doing.

Naren:  That's a first for you.

It wasn't a question.  It was a statement.  I don't let that deter me though.

I look down at my list of questions I wanted to ask.  They seem so insignificant after Naren and Nathan's conversation a moment ago.

Me:  This isn't on my list. 

But it's something I gotta know.

Me:  What do you want?

Nathan:  To be better off financially.  Money can't buy happiness, but I think I could be more comfortable at least.  It would be one less problem.

I thought it would be so.  But I intend to change that throughout the course of the book.  But he doesn't know that.

Naren doesn't answer.  Not that he needs to.  I'm pretty sure about what he wants.  I think he wants normalcy.  Period.  He wants to be happily married to Kamra--and he has been in a draft, but he doesn't remember that ;-)--and perhaps have a bunch of kids.  Sure, parenthood would be chaos, but I think we both know Naren would prefer that kind of chaos. 

Me:  Goodnight, gentlemen.  This did not go as planned at all, but it's been interesting.  I'll see you on the computer.  Well, kind of.

Naren:  Goodnight, Ms. Author. 

Naren actually has the decency to hug me.

Nathan:  Goodnight.  I have to go back to my terrible life with a crazy lady.

Naren:  Shut up.

Both protogonists fade and disappear.  The whole thing's been odd.  Goodnight.

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